Personal

On languishing and comedy

Languishing. What’s that? I’ll explain later. Okay, so like let’s do this in true Soph fashion. For the past 4 months I feel stuck as hell.

A feeling today known as languishing.

languishing feeling dominant emotion of 2021
Source: Healthshots

Now before I go on to explain what the hell is this modern wuss phenomena that a shit ton of people are feeling because if you didn’t notice we’re living through a pandemic, I am gonna explain what the hell is been going on and why I have been languishing. And that explanation is gonna be one sentence only.

Languishing: I haven’t been doing anything productive in over 4 months.

Now, a shit ton of y’all are gonna be like:

“But Soph you were working so hard from October to December, your body needs the rest.”. Before that it was like: “Oh you’re just going through a honeymoon phase”. And with no exceptions, every.single.fucking.comment goes: “Don’t worry, you will land on your feet fast.”

Well, newsflash. It’s been 5 months now, and it keeps gets worse. Now I’m in the phase of not only not being productive, but wasting my talent on bullshit like this. Writing for the sake of writing. Languishing my days away. If you think that this is not bullshit, lemme just remind you for the last 200 words I do is complain! So if that’s not a waste idk what is.

At this point it’s so bad that I do drugs by consuming outrageous quatities of sugar, binge watch a shit tone of standup specials and actually thinking of becoming a writer for Netflix. Like come on, how hard can it be?

In the age of woke and cancel culture, I’m gonna get a ban immediately! Yaaay publicity!!!!!!

Fine, I’m joking. I don’t have the ass to write stuff like that. Yet.

However, before you doze off, and you say this is some piece of shit writing, I’m gonna try and give you a bit of value for the time you’ve wasted reading this bullshit.

Languishing has me tied in my head.

languishing
Source: New York Times

I was so much in my head for the last week or so. What I realized is how scary it is to express opinions. Or, even worse, creating an opinion on a topic just because it’s a popular public opinion. If you think about it, that shit is pretty fucked up and crazy, yet people fucking do it.

As I said, I’ve been wasting my youth for the last week watching funny, problematic alcoholics speak on the most pressing of issues – racism, misogyny etc. And there’s one particular thing that straight out baffled me.

In what, I as a marketer, recognize as a way of rebranding, after the horrible scandal and allegations of Aziz Ansari (who, btw is one of my favorite comedians)

He proves the point that people actually will say anything to win over the crowd. And of course that’s problematic!

To illustrate this point even further, he made up a bit about a Pizza Hut arranging peperoni in the form of a swastika, and then he questioned the audience. He then asked this one guy whether he read this information in the Washington Post or another newspaper (forgive my stupid brain coz I don’t remember, although I watched it today, like 2 Netflix specials ago) and this guy said defs the Washington Post. To which Ansari admitted that he made the whole bit up.

It was baffling. Get this, me who cannot remember most normal things, got puzzled with this one piece of information from a guy who was desperately trying to save his career. Are we really there as a society?

We start making shit up? We start expressing opinions on things that do not exist just for the sake of being woke?

Now, that’s more fucked up than me eating a 450g bag of white chocolate drops. Which I did. Like 2 hours ago.

Okay, now I gave you a bit of value and convinced you to stay like the desperate for attention horny ex girlfriend that I am, now I am going to illustrate the second point – that I am a self-centered narcisist.

I feel fucking stuck and it’s a paradox actually – I can do a shit ton of things. I can work on my book, I can actually write my bachelor thesis, i can explore my mind, I can watch self-improvement shit. But no, ya girl watches Netflix specials without actually buying netflix!

Where’s the paradox you ask? I’m bored. I am literally bored, but I do not wanna do anything. Like, that’s fucked up man.

It’s languish. I know it’s languish because

languishing definition
Source: New York Times

You know what? I won’t even finish that sentence because 1. I’m lazy and 2. you can google it yourself you lazy fucker. I feel bad for saying you’re lazy so here’s a photo that explains it. So I didn’t know what else to say and because I’m lazy this is the last sentence. Sorry to fuck you up and not give you an actual ending like you probably deserved or like the last guy I dated. I’m off to watch yet another Netflix special and finish the 450g white chocolate drops.

Sofija Sion

I am a young, prosperous writer who just decided to open up a blog and let her thoughts and ideas spread their wings. The purpose of this blog is to have fun, enjoy it like a piece of a chocolate bar (slowly and with great zest) and maybe learn a few tricks while we’re at it.

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